Dawna Austin
I kept meaning to write yesterday, because if I don't write that's days happening on the same day, I tend to forget all that happened.  However, I'll try my best to recall yesterday.

I did get the results back from the blood work, and all levels were normal.  That was good news .. but why did I feel so tired for the past 5 days?   Yesterday I had a bit more energy, so I made a point of getting things done while I had the energy.  Perhaps I did too much again?  But if I did, then that means I'm doomed to a life of sitting around and really doing nothing.

However, once 7pm came, it was like I hit a brick wall.  I barely got the kids to bed before I collapsed in my own bed at 7:30pm.  It felt like I had just run a marathon, and my heart couldn't keep up.  I was so exhausted, all I could do was crash, except I wasn't really tired, just exhausted.  So, it was a long fitful sleep of alternating frustrating dreams and staring at the ceiling.

I watch people's blogs who have had the procedure done, and they talk about increased energy and a new life.   Honestly, the only thing I experience is the elimination of my limp (which is huge and I'm grateful for that), and warm hands (which seem to fluctuate).  On the energy level, there seems to be more days of exhaustion than of energy.  Why is this?  Does this mean that for me, the procedure didn't work?  Or perhaps another option could be that my body is working on healing itself which is why I feel so crappy, or maybe I will just have fluctuating days of good and bad while my body heals?  Either way, it is disheartening to once again be back in the world of being useless to my family.   The past week has been mostly "I'm too tired" to do anything with them, or for them.  This is NOT what I had hoped for.

But, what are my options?  I can either give up .. or keep waiting day by day for improvements.  That is hard to do when you feel so awful.   This morning when I got out of bed, I could still feel that off feeling that was sucking all the energy out of my body, but until I got up, there would be no way of really telling how I felt. 

I plugged along for the morning, as best I could with little energy, but oddly enough once noon hit, I hit that wall again.  It's an abrupt 'hit' where in mid sentence, you just need to sit down and you can barely finish your sentence, the fatigue is so huge.  I have people coming over tonight, so I wonder how it is that I am to clean this house and tidy it up?  It's in a bit of disrepair from my being in bed the past week. 

I will have to just plug along and hope that things will get better tomorrow.