Dawna Austin
Am thankful that the steroid puffer we have been using has helped Julianna's breathing issues, and last night she actually slept through without any incident.  YEAH!  Feels good to get a decent sleep. 

But wow.. just didn't think I could get worse so quickly, even with a decent sleep.  In the last few days, my hands and feet have become so super-sensitive that just putting any pressure on them is soooo uncomfortable.  Not really a convenient thing as I don't really know of any times that you have your feet suspended off the ground, not touching anything. Same with hands. You are ALWAYS touching and grabbing things, putting pressure on your hands.  Cutting meat, opening jars, pressing the buttons on the stove and many other things prove to bring more discomfort. I often find myself unknowingly holding my hands up in front of me, my palms up .. almost as if I am holding breakable air, careful not to disturb its existence.  I then realize what I'm doing and know it must because they hurt and subconsciously I'm trying to cradle them towards me .. much like a whimpering dog licking its wounds.  Interesting, the psychology of it all.    Yep, still broken.

I managed to get to church today, knowing friends would be there. I so miss interaction with the normal world.  We invited a bunch of people over for lunch after which was very life-giving to me.  So why did I also make chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for my kids after dinner? Ya, I don't know.  I haven't learned yet how to be a successful (or willing) couch potato.  However, as the day wore on, I ended up getting very weak. At this point, I feel like an 80  year old, barely making it up the stairs.  Taking my much needed breaths requires a lot of energy.  There is nothing I could do tonight other than sit or lay down.  I'm exhausted.


Praying there is some resolution to this cage I live in .. thanks for all the encouragement from so many lately.  While I feel totally broken and crushed, I do not feel alone.