Haven't slept well in the past 4 days, so went to bed at 8:30 last night and stayed in bed until 7am. Woke up a few times but feel like I've caught up for what was lost. Have NO idea what is keeping me from sleeping deeply but it is very exhausting.

I have so much to do to get ready for my trip, but am so greatly lacking motivation. I certainly hope that I can get it together within the next week.

Feeling very blessed at the outpouring of support from friends and family for this trip! Part of me thinks "I'm not worthy for them to send me their money". I've never been a good receiver .. well.. I was a good receiver from my parents, because I grew up with parents who were so very giving. It's easy to receive from them because it just feels natural. But from people who have no blood connection to you? Amazing. My first initial thought of friends starting fundraisers and aiming to get funds from 100 people, I thought "I don't even know 100 people!" Tears come to my eyes when I get a letter in the mail from people sending donations -- I feel completely humbled, and loved. I've always battled with insecurity and so all the response and support has been so completely overwhelming to me, in a good way.

This is all countered with daily sorrow for my brother, who is battling with Parkinsons Disease. His daily walk is so much harder than mine. I pray and cry for him daily, praying that the Lord will hear my cries and heal his body. It breaks my heart that there is no help for him. There is potential treatment that he is looking into and I pray .. oh I pray that this is an answer for him. I need him so greatly in my life, and I know that I speak for many in saying he is a vital part of their lives. He is the one that sent me that verse on the top of this page. He is my hero.