Wow, such a pleasure to be home, but part of me greatly misses Poland. It became like a second home to me, probably due to of all the friendships that developed there.

I am noticing some things today which scream the word "WITHDRAWAL" to me.  Let me list some of them.

  • My husband was so kind as to bring me coffee this morning in bed.  We slept from 7:30pm last night (arrived home at 6:30pm from the airport) until 6:30am this morning. WOW it was good to sleep.  I was so looking forward to coffee. Upon first sip I thought .. this tastes like water!  It was the usual coffee he made (which is considered strong to some who live here), but now, it wasn't strong, it was (to me) watered down. Oh no, I thought ... I'm in trouble. Where will I buy strong coffee like that? (Maybe I should go back? hehehe)
  • Later in the morning I found myself walking upstairs in my bedroom and instantly had the smell of the coffee I would drink each morning in Poland .. it had a particular smell that I've never smelled over here.  Obviously, my body is going through cravings.... time to go check out the prices of flights...
  • I find myself wondering if I should call a girlfriend or two, under the excuse of "you probably want to hear how my trip went .. maybe we should meet for coffee?".   Wow.. talk about addicted!  
I also noticed how much jet lag is affecting me today.  I attempted to braid my daughter's hair today and when I was done, it looked like she had slept on it for two days.  Hmm...  must try more coffee.

My sister just came by to give me my low-dose heparin shot.  Honestly, the 'thought' of it alone makes me want to run away like a little school girl.  I am such a whimp when it comes to needles and anything relating to blood .. well, when it deals with my body, that is.   I still remember Ron saying to me "it's no big deal".    Spoken like a true doctor.  :)

It's after lunch now, Julianna is down for her nap and I'm thinking that's a GREAT idea.. after all, it's midnight in Poland.. shouldn't I be in bed?  I hear it calling me.  Well, it's either the bed that's calling or it's coffee. I can't quite tell who is calling me the loudest.  I think they both might win.

I was going to take the kids to the waterpark as it was sunny this morning, but now as I look outside, it's raining. Hmm.. it really does feel like Poland (it was raining SO much there).   You know, I feel really off today, and I am blaming it all on the jet lag and coffee withdrawal.  I am hoping that is all it is and that I will feel energetic again.  I felt really good 2 days post-procedure, so I really am hoping that feeling comes back with some sleep and extra days to recover.  I don't know if heparin makes you feel crappy or anything either.  I only have 3 more days of shots to do. That will be nice to be finished with that. 

I was talking with a friend today and she asked how my pain in my leg was.   I had forgotten about that.  On April 1st (2010) with my big attack, I had intense pain in my leg and even touching my leg would make me hit the ceiling.  After the high-dose prednisone treatment a few weeks later, it got much better, but still was not pleasant to touch and I had a bit of pain in my foot, etc.  After her mentioning that today, I thought I would take a stab at shaving my legs during my morning shower today.  Earlier, shaving my right leg was more along the lines of a torture technique and was to be avoided unless completely necessary!   Well, after some subjective contemplation, I reluctantly say that I think it is better.  But the question is: is it better because of the Liberation Treatment, or because of the effects of the prednisone?  I am not sure I can answer that honestly.  Because it still does bother me to shave the leg, this shows me that I still have a lot of numbness and issues with that right leg.  But it is definitely better than it was last month.  I want to hope that it will get better and that the numbness will decrease, but again, it's a waiting game.  You hear so many stories of people who are so much better and their numbness goes away.  I can hope for this, but I also need to be realistic for myself so that I do not get disappointed if that does not happen.  Bottom line?  It's worth getting the procedure done even for minimal benefits .. the fact that I have increased blood flow, warm hands, etc. can only be good for your system.   If I were in the same place I was two weeks ago, I would still rush to where I could get it done .. and ASAP!

Well, I see that we have a lot of bills that arrived during my absence, so I guess I'd better get to paying those off.  Many of the people we have talked to have been financially comfortable enough to afford this trip to Poland for the procedure.  For us, it's been a financial struggle to complete this journey, and definitely a decision we did not make lightly.  Getting a loan from the bank to do this procedure and trip was not palatable, but really, what are our options?   If we take the chance to stay home and not get treated, you can guarantee that the health costs for an ailing body is going to be financially a burden as well.  So for all those out there who are wrestling with the dilemma of whether or not to take this step due to finances... know that there are others out there who have taken that mortgage, line of credit, or loan, and on the other end of it, are happy with their decision, even though it will affect them financially for years to come :)   I'd much rather have financial stress than physical stress.  It's unfortunate that any of us even have to make this a financial venture .. but hopefully someday soon, Canada will let MSP cover this procedure.. that will be a glorious day!