I have felt a bit more energy the last few days.. allowing me to start walking around our lake.  It felt absolutely wonderful to have that feeling, that I have the ability to do that which I love to do -- exercise.  Granted, walking around the lake is (in my former way of thinking) barely considered exercise, but considering where I've come the past year, it's certainly a lot more than I've been able to do for quite some time.  I was able to take the kids to Science World yesterday -- something I didn't think I would ever be able to have enough energy for again!

But with small gains, there also seems to be some setbacks.  My left foot, I have noticed, is definitely starting the process of becoming numb and losing feeling.  This is very disheartening for me -- for up until now, my left leg was not affected at all.   Having the skin on my foot start to become numb is not a good sign, in my thinking.  It gets me thinking again that maybe this isn't just a slow healing process.. but maybe I still have a blocked vein, perhaps the azygos vein.  What a daily struggle to remain positive.  Anyhow, here is how I feel today:
  • Right side still fairly numb with the right foot being the most affected.  The right big toe is so numb that it hurts to touch it (it just hurts all the time!) ... almost the same feeling as if you gave yourself a rug burn.  I still cannot wear any bracelets on my right arm, it is just too uncomfortable. Shoes are uncomfortable on my right foot and often hurts.
  • My left hand is numb .. as has been for a few months.  But in the last few days, my left foot has started to lose some feeling
  • My bladder issues remain intact, although not as severe
  • My fatigue is not as bad, but the body aches are still quite strong.
  • My walking is still okay, and I am still no longer limping.
  • Right side still feels very weak
  • Today was fairly warm, and I quickly found out that post-liberation I am still very sensitive to heat .. I started feeling ill and needed to get in the shade. Such a bummer -- I had really hoped that would have been fixed.
What is most disheartening, is the MS Society of Canada's take on CCSVI.  With the recent news on what is not included in their upcoming studies, it looks as though we are many years from treatment here in Canada.  I had hoped that soon I would be able to get rechecked within the next year.  My option .. if I continue to decline, I will have to search out the procedure again, hopefully closer, perhaps in the US and see if my other veins are blocked, etc. -- a financial struggle I had hoped to avoid.

In a lineup in the store today, as I was about to pick up my groceries and leave, the cashier asked the next person in line, 'and how are you today' to which he replied, 'I couldn't be any better!'  Wow.. that statement hit me.  What I wouldn't give to be able to say that.. should I even hope that I will be able to say that in my future? 

Well.. I will plug along today and try to remain positive.  I can feel that today will be a day in which I wrestle with that.   I guess I need to focus on what I can do, rather on what I cannot do, or what functions I may be losing.  I'll wake up and return to being one of the many walking around without disease.
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1 Response
  1. Pam Says:

    Yay Dawna! Here's a video of you triumphing against all odds (a bit scary at one point, watch first before showing it to your kids):

    Nice talking to you the other day!